in June 2004, I was a guest at a Men's Division International meeting. I was so impressed, I took the next available training weekend that October and because a member of a Brooklyn Men's Team.
I LOVE MDI AND WHAT IT STANDS FOR!
MDI is an organization committed to a world where Honor, Selflessness, Commitment, Integrity, Training and Learning give men the Wisdom to Serve all Men, Women and Children for the betterment of Humanity.
About a year into my membership, "I heard it thru the grapevine" that MDI's Sister Organization - The Family of Women - wanted to interview a few men using a panel format to support them in being more effective in their relationships with brothers, husbands, sons, co-workers, etc. and I BEGGED to be on that panel.
After the organizer of the panel relented (I was a PAIN! He probably said yes just to shut me up), we had our day with the women.
They asked questions, we took turns answering them. My answers were animated, long and emotional. I was straight, insistent, funny and insightful. Some of you know exactly what I mean - you've seen me that way before.
Fortunately, the women thought I was a HIT!
I was hugging everyone at the end. The women were thrilled and kept thanking all of us but they were really emotional towards me in particular - not like I was the best but they went out of their way to make sure I knew how much they learned, how much of a difference I made and that what I said supported them in improving their relationships.
They especially loved that I was fully self expressed - Straight; no chaser!
As we were leaving, we spontaneously huddled up and debriefed. I'm all excited about what just happened and we're going over everything when one of the men said to me,"Dude - you talk too much! I know those women liked what you had to say but damn - you can't shut up! It was like being on THE TONY VEAR SHOW!"
And he stormed off!
OUCH!!
That really messed me up!!
I was embarrassed and emotionally, I was looking for a hole to crawl into. I had no idea I had that effect on anyone. He was a long time leader in our organization; I was a rookie. I was hurt and I felt scolded.
Other men chimed in. One of them didn't have an opinion one way or the other. Another just asked me "Did you give your best?" I said,"Of course!" He said, "Well, that's all you can do then, right?"
One of them said - thankfully, within minutes - "Yep, it WAS like being on The Tony Vear Show, but I LIKED The Tony Vear Show!"
I was so glad he said that! I don't know what I would've done to recover had Joe not only said that but for the next 18 months refer to me only as "The Tony Vear Show".
When I'm at my best I'm completely animated - I talk fast, laugh a lot and say things I've never heard myself say before. I'm hilarious, gregarious, unpredictable and safe to be around. Some say I'm like a big ol' Teddy Bear. Some say they can feel the Love when I come in the room. And, somebody's learning something about something in my space - even if it's just me.
The bottom line is, at my best I am completely and utterly me!
My point is, I love being me. I'm totally comfortable in my own skin, I'm committed to being me and I'm committed to you being you. In fact, that is one of the 3 core intentions of The Tony Vear Show - that people experience Love as a State of Mind and a Way of Life, that No One does Anything they don't Love and that we live in a World That Works for Everyone.
If you're not being you, you're obviously being, doing or having something you don't Love.
In closing, I leave you with a quote from Neale Donald Walsch - author of the Conversations with God book series:
Betrayal of oneself
in order to not betray another
is betrayal nevertheless.
In fact,
it is the highest betrayal.
Be yourself. Love yourself.
You can't love anyone or anything more than you love yourself.
It's impossible.
There's not enough room.
For more information about MDI, visit their website at www.mdionline.org
For more information about the Family of Women, visit www.thesterlingwomensweekend.
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